Barb has a few “constants” in her life. One, which she never fails to mention, is that growing up,
her family always had dogs – 2 collies and a variety of other breeds. When she was a college
student studying Anthropology at the University of Kansas, Barb adopted Kelly from the
Lawrence, Kansas Humane Society. Kelly was part collie and part German Shepard, not a small
lap dog at all. One day, when Kelly was a puppy, she ran into someone’s apartment and Barb
had to go look for her. Guess who lived in that apartment? – Bill Jensen! He was a graduate
student at the time.

When a German Shephard “finds you”, you are bound to pay attention quickly. And Bill did.
Soon enough Bill was teaching Barb to play bridge. A friendship began, then a Romance and
marriage followed… as did the dogs, rooting for the Cardinals and playing bridge.
Barb and Bill stayed in St. Louis and had 2 children – a boy ( Tim) and a girl (Becka). Her family
has always come first and it still does. That is a guiding principle in how she lives her life. Barb’s
role as mother, wife, and nurturer was very important to her and her family and it is also
important to our UUFBR congregation. Like a tree that stands steady and strong, she focused
on raising independent children with good values who could support themselves and lead
fulfilling lives. She extended herself in that same way in nurturing exchange students for many
years while her children were growing up. Barb still has a special friendship with the family
from Turkey whose daughter she hosted for an entire school year.

Barb wanted a spiritual home for her family when her children were young. She is of Jewish
heritage and Bill was from a Christian home. She started going to the Eliot Unitarian
Universalist Chapel in St. Louis because of their Woman’s Alliance. She laughs about it because
she never made it to one of the Alliance meetings but she did learn about the UU principles.
Barb refers to herself as an ethical humanist and believes in being a good person, giving to
others and living with compassion. Those are the values she lives not only in her family life but
with everything she does here at UUFBR. Her heart is always big.

The UU was a good fit for Barb’s family and once they joined the local congregation, they
became lifelong UUs. They lived in St. Louis, Missouri for 30 years and then moved to
Emporia, Kansas to be near Bill’s family. There, Barb and Bill were the founding members of a
small UU congregation. When Barb and Bill decided to move to Boca Raton, Barb was
adamant about living near a UU congregation. Lucky for UUFBR, Barb found us.

Barb is a very generous person with her time, energy and resources. She was on the Board for
her daughter’s ballet school and was a primary fund raiser for the school. She was the
treasurer of the Lyon County, Kansas Democratic party and a very active member. If
someone is in need and Barb can help, she will and continues to do that.

At UUFBR Barb has been a leader in every way. She spearheaded and was the key organizer
of the flea markets we held every year, an exhausting task that she managed well. She was a
Co-President and a Board of Trustee member many times, kept our kitchen stocked with after
service nibbles, participated in the silent auction, hosted many dinners at her home,
welcomed new interim ministers, and donated time and money for major capital
improvements. Barb has always contributed time and resources where needed.

It is often hard to describe someone like Barb. She is a “dynomo” with a giant heart and yet,
she is so humble in doing all of it. A strong, gentle and steady woman who quietly makes the
world a better place for everyone. She doesn’t shout, or clamor for a place in the spotlight.
Instead, she is always there, calm and strong, quietly providing the strength for her family and
her community, knowing when to bend and when to hold steady. She gives her time, her
energy and her loving support to those of us who are a part of her life.

Today, Barb and Bill are the proud parents of 2 children, 3 grandchildren, and a dog named
Ziggy. They hold a reputation as a notable bridge partnership not to be underestimated!

We are so fortunate to have her as part of our UUFBR matriarch, a wise woman among
us.Sometimes, our greatest gifts walk quietly into our lives and it is up to us to acknowledge
and appreciate them and to be grateful. We are grateful for Barb.

written by Donna K. Musial

written by Bill Jensen

The UU identity of Donna Musial, a valued member of UUFBR and past Board president, is set on a solid foundation made up of strong female role models and a father who upheld her inherent worth and dignity.

Laying a Foundation of Love and Respect

Donna grew up in New Jersey in a family of many women. She has three sisters and her mother had six sisters. No sons anywhere….. maybe that is what made Donna’s father such a special role model for her. She and her father had a special bond that generated fond memories of things they did together: playing the violin, playing catch, recycling newspapers and aluminum, weeding the garden and talking about the meaning of life and the role of religion vs. spirituality. He clearly had great respect for Donna, as he did for all sentient beings; father and daughter would often sit quietly feeding squirrels by hand in the garden. He was a well-read man who encouraged reading and questioned the state of the world in a loving way. Looking back, Donna thinks that her dad was really a UU but never knew it.

Raised in a very Catholic home, Donna attended all-girl Catholic schools through high school. She was very active in the arts, playing Scrooge in the school production of “A Christmas Carol.” She was also the editor of the school’s newspaper and yearbook and wrote poetry for a monthly publication. In this supportive atmosphere, the foundation was laid for her to become a strong and independent person and develop her varied interests.

Graduating from high school in 1974, Donna’s career goals shifted to medicine. That led her to the University of Scranton, a private Jesuit college geared toward pre-med students. Her class was only the second to include women, another trailblazing opportunity.

Framing the Building: Creating a Professional Life

A new career path emerged from her varied college experiences. Donna eventually transferred to Pratt Institute in New York to study architecture, while continuing to explore her journalistic interests through summer programs at Columbia University and writing for local home town newspapers. She graduated with a Bachelor of Architecture in 1980, and began a three-year architectural internship working for Architects in NYC and becoming a licensed architect in 1984.

During college she also began to question her religious beliefs. She explored various religions (her own Catholicism, various Christian faiths, Buddhism, Judaism and Quakerism) and came to realize that the underlying principles of love, gratitude, and respect for all of life matter far more than any dogma. She had a deep affection for the transcendental movement and held UU beliefs before she even knew of UU. In December of 1985, she married her first husband. Though she enjoyed all the trappings of success, including her BMW, power boat, and dinner parties, they didn’t supply the deeper emotional and spiritual meaning she craved, and the marriage ended in divorce.

This difficult and painful time turned out to be a crucible, as Donna confronted the fact that her life was turning out very differently than what she had imagined, and she learned how much stronger she was than she had ever understood. And the lessons learned cemented her UU leanings.

Throughout this period, Donna forged ahead in traditionally male fields, a testament to her upbringing and early education. In 1990 she received a Master’s Degree in Engineering and Construction Management, and is proud of having worked on many noteworthy buildings such as the Hayden Planetarium in New York City, the Mandarin Orient hotel in Buckhead, Georgia, the Corning Glass Museum in Corning NY, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and the Marriott Edition Hotel in Times Square, NYC. Her appreciation for order and beauty translated into a talent for constructing strong and elegant buildings.

Raising the Roof: Designing a Spiritual Life

Despite her father’s death in 1995, his voice and his guidance are always with her. His support gave her confidence to be anything she wanted to be, and his intellect led her to appreciate calm discussion and open curiosity. That same year she also met her current husband, Paul Wiley, her safe harbor and rock of stability. With him, her life has shifted from a hectic, materially focused pace to a calm, more thoughtful lifestyle. She has also found satisfaction in participating extensively in Toastmasters public speaking programs, useful training for both her professional life and as a UUFBR leader.

Finish Work: Building a Spiritual Home at UUFBR

When Donna and Paul took a cruise to Alaska, a couple they met introduced them to Unitarian Universalism. When she returned home, she immediately looked for a fellowship. That August, she came to a service at UUFBR and sat with tears of joy. The feeling of finding a home, knowing others share the same values as she does and try to live them, never left her. She knew she did not have to conform to anything, or to be anything but herself. She could search, learn, share in a place of peace, love and understanding. Donna joined UUFBR in the fall of 2011, quickly becoming a leader. Her service has included chairing the Endowment Committee, running the silent auction, and serving as president of the Board of the Fellowship. In addition, she has shared her professional expertise in many projects involving structural and architectural aspects of our physical facility.

Spiritually speaking, Donna feels that there is something greater than ourselves which may be beyond our ability to describe. This expansive perspective enables her to handle conflict gracefully and seek to resolve issues with reason and compassion, finding common ground where we can all work together to fulfill our hopes and dreams. She believes in the importance of our UU Seven Principles and the dignity and worth of every sentient being, including our great Mother Earth. Her dad would be proud.

Our Congregational Treasure this month is someone who has been involved with many aspects of UUFBR for over 30 years. He was immediately elected treasurer as soon as he signed the book, served three separate terms as president of the congregation, and is active in the ukulele group, tai chi and Qigong. If you haven’t guessed yet, here’s another hint – his name is not pronounced the way it’s spelled, if you’re saying it correctly.
Yes, it’s Robèrt Duchemin, our resident French-Canadian congregational treasure. Pronounced “Ro-Bear” , Robert’s steady, mild-mannered presence makes others comfortable and welcome. He views life with unfailing good humor, and gets along with everyone.
When Robert Duchemin was growing up in Shawinigan in southern Quebec, his father and mother were launching a radio/TV/records business and sent him to a Catholic boarding school, which he said he enjoyed.
“In his business, my father had to talk to a lot of people,” Robert said, “so I learned quickly how to be nice to people – otherwise you don’t get their business.”
Robert went to college in Shawinigan for two years and then transferred to the Ecole Polytechnique de Montreal. In 1973, during his first summer there, he met his future wife. Laurie was an American living in Toronto; they met in a Montreal “Boite a chanson.” She couldn’t understand him because “I didn’t speak English, only a little bit,” he said. She didn’t know any French but who needs language when you are in your 20s? He learned quickly and she quickly learned French.
A long and winding road brought him to Florida. Robert graduated with an electrical engineering degree in 1976 and went to work for a mining company in a small town in Quebec Province 500 miles east of Montreal; he stayed six years. “Winters are colder up there than Montreal,” he said with a laugh, “and Montreal is pretty cold.” Robert and Laurie married in 1978 and had their first and only child the following year.
In 1983, Robert took a job with a Montreal-based chemical company (CIL), and stayed for three years. He had segued career-wise to become a computer programmer and was doing side work for a Montreal firm whose owner referred him to a friend. That friend needed help for his consulting firm based in Lewiston, N.Y. “I came up with something he could use,” Robert said, “and he sent me to Chicago once a month for a year to do some consulting work with his clients.”
Robert wound up having a 25-year working relationship with the man, who established an office in Boca Raton; the Duchemins relocated here in 1987.
Robert said he had enjoyed playing hockey and football as a youth and was kept busy by nuns and brothers at the boarding schools. But after going to Mass every weekday morning, he knew all the Catholic stories by heart and said he had had enough of the religion. His wife’s mother had been a Unitarian Universalist and Laurie told him, “There must be a UU congregation somewhere.”
In 1990, they visited our Fellowship and were invited to a barbecue in the park next door. “They asked us to help cook chicken wings, and that’s how I got involved,” Robert said. “I told them I had a job in computers and they said, ‘You must be good with numbers.’ They asked me to be treasurer. I was an office manager by then, so they assumed I was familiar with numbers. I knew what a spreadsheet was and Excel was just starting. The church had been using a member’s bookkeeping business. I put everything in a spreadsheet, they were impressed and I signed the book as the treasurer.”
Robert said at the beginning “nobody could understand clearly what I was saying” because of his French accent. He said he was treasurer for four years and then became president for the first of three stints totaling eight years. Later, Rev. Harris Riordan was hired and provided stable and inspiring ministerial leadership until her retirement this past spring. Meanwhile, Robert opened his own computer programming business and ran it from 2010 to 2019.
When his wife’s health failed and she died in 2016, Robert said many congregants reached out with offers of help. “It was a very tough time for me,” he said.
A few years later, he was hired as a staffer by FBR and helped the congregation weather the COVID-19 pandemic, a capital campaign and a renovation. Last year, Robert underwent an elective quintuple bypass heart surgery. He says he again felt supported by the congregation during his recovery.
“It’s the group interaction,” Robert said. “It is good for your health, good for your mind. It makes you think about having a positive outlook. I try to look on the bright side. I read books, articles of interest and I go to church on Sundays; that is something I like to do.
“Actually, I don’t do much for fun, I like to work. I have a very simple life. I keep informed about what’s going on in the world…I like the sense of community here, with people doing something good for the world, good for Boca Raton, and all of that with a sense of humor. To me, Unitarian Universalism is important. It is very crucial to have a voice in this world. Since I do not have a lot of family here, it’s the closest thing I have to it.”
Robert, a vegetarian, says he likes cooking, reading a newspaper, doing tai-chi and Qi-Gong, playing ukulele and eventually expects to return to the UUFBR choir. He says he would like to take more vacations, see some of the world and especially travel to Quebec to visit his two sisters and brother. Robert works 15 hours a week for us, working closely with treasurer Paul Libert.
“There was a need,” he said of coming on staff in 2019, “and I am somebody that knows enough about everything, so I offered to take the position. I knew the software and the Fellowship’s finances… I think it is wonderful to have a group of dedicated people who wanted to pass through that stage where we had financial difficulties. There is a new spirit here, that is for sure, some new people coming to church on Sunday. The building looks new and much better. I am very happy about that.”

Rev. Harris Riordan’s Ministry at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Boca Raton

By Judith Lavori Keiser

Harris Riordan’s ministry can be expressed in stories, both those she tells in her sermons and those she lived, especially during twenty-five years as minister of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Boca Raton.   As part of her retirement this June, she shared some of those stories with the UUFBR Legacy Group.  They outline the evolution of our congregation and can guide us as we transition from being “Harris Riordan’s congregation” to being a strong congregation moving into the future as one.

The Road to UUFBR

The Reverend Ms. Harris Riordan (or just plain Harris, as she is almost universally known) grew up in The First Unitarian Church of Brooklyn. She earned her BA at the State University of New York/Purchase, and her Master of Divinity at Union Theological Seminary in New York. She was ordained by All Souls Unitarian Church in New York City in 1982.

Before accepting the invitation to become UUFBR’s settled minister in 1997, Harris had served as the Religious Education Director and Associate Minister of the Community Unitarian Church in White Plains, New York and Associate Minister of the First Unitarian Church in Brooklyn. She had also served as Interim Minister of the Unitarian Universalist Church of the Restoration in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and Interim Associate Minister at All Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, Oklahoma. Her background in psychology served her well in those congregations and roles, and were very useful once she came to UUFBR.
We needed all her skills and experience. The early years of our congregation were focused on the internal growth and organization of the group, which was established in 1960. At that time our religious denomination was struggling with inherited “God” language, and our founding members were combatting the reputation of Boca Raton as materialistic and privileged.
The world and the denomination had moved on since the 1960’s, but UUFBR had not kept pace. As Harris describes it, she was faced with a “collection of intelligent, interesting people from other places who had no idea how to be a congregation.” The founders’ intense humanism needed to mellow so people who believe in God would also feel welcome. The attempts to set ourselves apart from mainstream Boca churches needed to give way to playing a role in the community, filling a space that other religions could not, or would not. UU individualism needed to shift to allow a congregational identity to emerge.
It was the work of decades, but Harris never lost sight of those goals. Her skills enabled her to diplomatically raise questions and encourage discussion without offending. And now, a quarter-century later, she feels great satisfaction. The road had its bumps and twists, but today’s UUFBR is a family, with room for pagans, atheists, agnostics, and “deists,” and we are learning to value both the contemplative and the activist leanings that attract people to Unitarian Universalism.

The First (Potluck) Supper
During her first visit to Boca as a ministerial candidate, Harris showed up, on time and ready to help, for a potluck supper, only to find that with several congregational leaders there already, nothing had been done – not even setting up tables! So she rolled up her sleeves and got to work organizing and delegating, and the potluck soon came together. Harris saw this as a signal that the individuals of the Fellowship had not learned to act together. No-one was “setting the stage or creating the container” for joint efforts, whether potlucks or protests, parties or parades.
Another story illustrates how far we’ve come from that disorganized group of individuals.
From Parkland to Washington
After the 2018 shooting at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas School in Parkland, Harris led the congregation through processing our grief and rage in Sunday worship. But it was not enough, and she proudly remembers the small group of congregants who proposed and ran with an idea that would bring a Florida presence to the national stage. Despite grave reservations and restrictions imposed by the board, those passionate individuals produced a one-day music festival of donated performances by well-known musicians. That event raised $14,000 – in ONE day! The money enabled a group of underserved high schoolers from Palm Beach County to ride a rented bus all the way to Washington, DC, to participate in a historic national social justice movement.
The “God” Quota
Another story that shows the change in the congregation during Harris’ ministry concerns her Christmas service the first year of her ministry. Arriving in August, she had a few months to assimilate the severe “allergic reaction” that the Boca congregation had to any talk of “God.” But how can you do a Christmas service without mentioning Jesus, whom Christians believe is God’s son? Harris figured that was a safe opportunity to use the word – and people seemed to tolerate it well, complimenting her on her sermon. But not all did. One congregant, in the receiving line at the sanctuary door after the service concluded, advised, “That was a lovely service. Just be aware that you’ve used up your allotment of the ‘God’ word for the year.”
Newer members of the Fellowship may be surprised at this story. Like most UU congregations, we’ve come very far toward tolerance and acceptance of the deists among us. Programs like “Mystics and Metaphysics” and “Compline” attract a good number of attendees; one Director of Religious Education instituted a monthly communion service. Harris no longer reaches for the antihistamine, expecting automatic resistance to “religion.” Her quota of God-language has increased substantially.
But that change took sustained and patient work, that’s not finished. Although Harris is proud of our increased patience with language about God, she envisions a day when congregants no longer feel they need to whisper their prayers. She hopes that we will continue to soften the boundaries between humanism and deism, moving beyond mere tolerance to full appreciation of aspects of the sacred and the holy that include God.
What Do You Need?
During Harris’ ministry in Boca, the focus of the congregation has gradually turned from inwardly focused, to an awareness of our membership in a larger faith denomination. One example is our role as a teaching congregation.
UUFBR’s endowment fund supports a program that harmoniously balances inner spiritual work with faith in action. Harris is extremely proud of this program, which increases the pool of UU ministers by hiring ministerial interns for year-long work in parish ministry. This program, typically done only by much larger congregations, has graduated close to a dozen religious professionals who now minister in varied capacities.
In Harris’ own intern experience, she was not encouraged to take initiative, being expected to merely absorb the senior minister’s guidance. Her job was to do what the congregation needed – interns were “cheap labor.”
On the contrary, Harris has always allowed our interns’ own passions to drive the projects they’ve undertaken. She asks, “what do you need?” instead of saying “here’s what we need from you.” Interns learn Harris’ philosophy that “preaching is a conversation, not a performance.” Each intern practices sermons with a small group before delivering the sermons to the congregation. In addition, they work with religious education and pastoral care.
They are treated as ministers, not students, as our First Principle encourages, respected for their inherent worth and dignity. Whatever path our interns follow once they leave UUFBR, they are well prepared. And Harris praises our congregation for giving our interns “consistent care, concentration and commitment.”
Managing Polarities: “Both And”
Under Harris’ leadership, our congregation has expanded our focus from just emphasizing inward contemplation and spirituality, to also working for social justice. From our beginnings, she’s always nurtured the spiritual life of our congregation. Her sermons encourage us to become more mindful, to pay attention to our breath and our bodies, to connect with the calm within. She opens doors to diverse religious practices to connect us to many spiritual paths. Sometimes the message is, “don’t just do something – stand there!”
She also reminds us to make room for more than one way of being spiritual. Over time, we have also begun to emerge as a leader in the community. We occupy a unique niche among Palm Beach faith groups: we can act nimbly because we are not bogged down in bureaucracy or beholden to a mother church. That means we can respond quickly and without restrictions to social justice opportunities and challenges. At those times, Harris’ message is “you’ve got to move when the spirit says move.”
For example, as we became aware of climate change, UUFBR recognized that the public needed to have easy access to important information about this global crisis. We offered, free to the community, not just one, but four showings of “An Inconvenient Truth.” We also organized an EarthFest for three years running, combining panels and workshops with musical performances, vendors offering sustainable products, Scout badge projects, and test drives of the hottest new electric car, the Tesla.
More recently, when anti-Muslim sentiment led the Palm Beach County Supervisor of Elections to close the polling place at the Islamic Center of Boca Raton, UUFBR protested and lobbied to reverse the decision. Failing that, we publicly notified the SOE that we would not consider being a polling place if the ICBR was not given that opportunity.
Harris has encouraged us to expand our capacity to hold several possibly conflicting ideas simultaneously, and practice managing the polarities of preferred spiritual practices to serve both those who gravitate toward inner reflection and those whose faith expresses itself in action.
It Takes a Village
Soon after settling in at UUFBR, Harris adopted her daughter Margaret. Maggie may be Harris’ child, but as the preacher’s kid she belongs to UUFBR too. Harris tells many stories about the village that raised this child. For example, after one Fellowship event, Harris went looking for her small daughter, and found her in Osias Hall. Maggie, who always wanted to help even before she really could, was attempting to manage the vacuum, which was bigger than she was. One of the older men was not only keeping her company, he was actually teaching her how to vacuum. Harris was profoundly grateful for that example of the UU First Principle in action. Maggie was being seen, and nurtured, as a whole person, not just a child to be babysat.
Brownies
No story of Harris’ ministry would be complete without brownies. They have become part of Her “brand,” a shorthand for the caring and love she puts into everything she does. And it all started as a bribe. During her first year at UUFBR, Harris had to change the system to involve the congregation in the annual budget process. When she asked one member what it would take to get him to attend a meeting, the answer was “Chocolate!” Given the choice between cake or brownies, he chose brownies. And it’s been brownies ever since. Brownies on the P.E.A.C.E.; bus to rallies for the interfaith social justice initiative; brownies at every congregational meeting and special event; and brownies as a reward for stepping up to challenges. Gluten-free, vegan, black bean, or regular: brownies form a thread that runs through many years of UUFBR events.
Growing Up: Our Next Steps
During Harris’ first year at UUFBR, she mentioned the “bumpy road” to her dad. He reminded her that she grew up in a UU congregation founded in 1833, whereas UUFBR was founded in 1960! How could she expect such a young congregation to know what to do? Her wise UU father explained, “growing up is a long slow process.”
For twenty-five years, Harris has helped our congregation “practice being Unitarian Universalist.” Where does she see us in the future?
In the past we’ve relied on the “sparkplugs,” individuals with passion and energy, to get things going and move the community forward toward justice and compassion. Harris hopes we will cultivate the community perspective that let things take deeper root, so projects really belong to the UUFBR community instead of just to individuals.
She looks forward to us taking the next step to embrace all spiritual beliefs, including belief in God, and becoming not only tolerant but appreciative of everyone’s spiritual path.
Harris hopes that we remember that we have weathered severe storms, both internal conflicts and external hurricanes. We’ve developed guidelines that lead us “not to be nasty or insulting but fight, feel hurt, and try again, as in a family.” Even when people carry wounds from past conflicts, she is proud that they “come back to fight again for what they believe and learn how to do it by doing it.”
And Harris is proud of the spirit of pride and possibility that the congregation is showing during our re-emergence from the Covid-19 pandemic.
The recent events surrounding the pandemic illustrate how far we have come over 25 years. We have developed a shared congregational identity and culture. Brownies aside, we now understand that “a community does more than eat together.” Harris has faith, based on her experience at UUFBR, that as we continue searching for truth and meaning together, we will “move forward til we find it.”